Entry : 11-September

Today was parent's weekend at my son's school [He is in high school. He is a day student at a private boarding school] and that means parent teacher conferences. So the bottom line is, he is a smart kid with a real good disposition, but tends toward taking the easy way out. "If you want to turn the B+ into an A, come in to see me for extra help. Not because you need help, but because you want the A"
Hmmm, I have to motivate him to want the A. I'm not exactly sure how to do that.

Entry : 10-September

The wife is quite upset about the amount of debt we currently have. I too am bothered by it. But I think my approach to finances is slightly more . . . no wait, this really isn't my line of thought, I think what I really want to say is that she is a frantic panicky woman who I often have trouble dealing with and taking seriously because she has an inconsistent message. She lashes out, blames others, and is unwilling to compromise. But other than that, she's great and I love her.

Entry : 9-September

I'm at swimming lessons with my youngest, thinking about stuff, writing things, generally killing time. I think I'm going to start to write my eulogy. Speaking of dying, I always wanted to leave behind a mystery, something with lots of clues. I have to think about the mystery some some, what is it I'm leaving behind that people have to find?

Entry : 7-September

Not much to say. I got a haircut yesterday. I like haircuts, they make me feel good. They give me a positive outlook for a few days.

Entry : 25-August

The birthday is only about a month away. I've been doing a lot of reflecting, looking back on the past 50 years. I'm not real pleased with where I am.

At 50, or maybe a little before 50, you start to temper your thoughts and desires of moving up the corporate ladder. Where once you were sure you were destined for the CEO's office, now you rationalize why you aren't there.

If you aren't happy with those rationalizations, or more likely you don't really believe them, then it can hurt.

I'm in a lot of pain right now.

Preface

I not quite middle aged. I am hopefully a bit past the middle. I really don't want to live to 100 (unless the singularity has arrived and I can augment my body with nanotechnology, but that's a topic for a different blog).

When I was 49 I was not looking forward to being 50. I decided to keep a journal. I bought a small notebook and wrote a very short entry nearly every day. 

I thought I would share with everyone some of those entries. I am not going to reproduce every entry, because quite frankly some of them are boring or whiny or just plain stupid. I shall set down here so much of this story as seems either curious or needful.